The Quickest Sickness

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By: leelefever on March 14, 2006 - 8:00am

Yesterday I had one of the most bizarre, horrible and terrific health problems I've had. We were in Colombo, the capital city of Sri Lanka. Mervyn, our driver, had just dropped us off and we were walking through the markets of Colombo.

The first sign was cramping, starting high in the abdomen and moving lower. Two big waves of cramps made me groan out loud and start to think about the consequences.

We walked on for about 10 minutes and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I went from walking around like a normal person to being (literally) brought to my knees by dizziness and nausea in about 3 minutes. Sachi went into nurse mode and called Mervyn who came quickly.

In the meantime, we asked a policeman who told us a bathroom was a couple of blocks away – too far for me. I was barely conscious with the world swirling around me -walking wasn’t an option. The policeman gave me a chair where I fumbled to remove my shirt that had been soaked by sweat. I distinctly remember the concerned look of people around me. I was pouring sweat from every pore – every pore. I was very concerned about my own condition.

Mervyn came and said that he could get us to a hotel in two minutes. I gathered my senses and made it to the car. The A/C felt so good- but my body needed a bathroom very badly. We arrived at the Grand Oriental Hotel in no time and I couldn’t put my shirt back on myself I was so weak. Sweat was still pouring.

The bathroom door in the lobby said “hotel guests only”. Oh well. I’ll spare you the details of the bathroom, but let’s just say that my body has never been so emptied so efficiently. I pictured someone finding me passed out on that bathroom floor. Luckily, I walked out of the bathroom to more stares of concerned people. Sachi said I was see-through white with blue lips. I felt worse than that.

I sat in the hotel lobby for the next 30 minutes with waves of dizziness threatening a loss of consciousness. A/C, cold water, deep breathing and relaxation went a long way. The sweat finally stopped after every piece of clothing was soaked through. I’ve never sweated so hard.

Literally no more than 1 hour after the first cramps, it was over - I was back to normal for the most part. Just in case, we became customers of the Grand Oriental Hotel for the night where I relaxed and enjoyed a complete feeling of health. I still have no idea what happened, but the most likely culprit was a combination of food and the sweltering heat.

I don't remember ever feeling so badly so quickly. I think I packed a few days of sickness into a matter of minutes. If we were on a bus, or a hike or train, there would have been a very bad situation. But thanks to Mervyn, our trusty driver, we found a safe place for me to recover. Good guy that Mervyn.

Post From: Colombo, LK
By: sankin on March 14, 2006 - 6:33pm

Poor Lee! That sounds horrific, but I hope you're continuing to feel better. God bless Mervyn...


Mark's picture
By: Mark on March 15, 2006 - 10:37am
Somehow I imagine you being the Jeff Daniels character in Dumb and Dumber, where he is secretly given the "ultra-laxative" and proceeds to have a very thunderous toilet experience. I don't think it was food poisoning, since that's a more prolonged effect.... I think it was some sort of natural laxative in the food you ate that made your body want to pull the trigger so quickly. I like how you decided to stay at the hotel after you graced their bathroom.... it's only fair. Plus, it looks like a nice place. Look at the positive side, you probably lost 5 pounds between the laxative and all the sweating. hahaha. Hope you feel better!

By: Jake Ludington (not verified) on March 16, 2006 - 12:13am
That definitely sounds like some kind of food bourne illness. I got sick from some food at the Iowa State Fair one year and I thought I was going to die for about 5 hours and then magically it just went away.